Best first: A man got hit hard in the head with a can of 7Up. He’s alright though, it was a soft drink. Police officer talks to a driver: Your tail light is broken, your tires must be exchanged funny jokes clean your bumper hangs halfway down.
They want twice as much as that at the garage. Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? Why do the French like to eat snails so much? Oh the weather is lovely today. Shall we go out for a quick jog?
Shall we go out and have a cake’! How come there are no chairs at our table? Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty.
Mother: Why didn’t you use a coaster! I asked my daughter if she’d seen my newspaper. She told me that newspapers are old school. The fly didn’t stand a chance. A friend told me I should go to the petting zoo perhaps, to cheer up. I went today, but not one person would stroke me.
I forgot my cell phone when I went to the toilet yesterday. How many gorillas can fit into a car? How many chickens can fit into the car? None, the car is already full of gorillas. He: Just call in sick then.