I Brake For No Apparent Reason. I mean funny sayings of young children about the toothbrush. Even a toilet can handle only one asshole at a time.
You tried your best and you failed miserably. Don’t you just hate it when people say stuff in their status that you really didn’t want to know? Anyhow, I’m busting for a pee. A compromise is an agreement whereby both partiesget what neither of them wanted.
Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry. Wi-fi went down for five minutes, So I had to talk to my family. College is a refuge from hasty judgment. It’s funny how most activists are pacifists. When I die, I’m leaving my body to science fiction. Newton’s third law of love: For every Idiot, there is an equal and opposite Gender Idiot!
Because there are some questions that even Google can’t answer. Face down, ass up, that s the way we tie our shoes! Laugh at your problems, everybody else does. Doing nothing is very hard to do, you never know when you’re finished. I dieted for a month and all I lost was 30 days. I’m not as think as you drunk I am.
One day before exam, I become the most religious person in the WORLD! Now, if you don’t mind, I’d appreciate it if you could lower your wand. So most of us are pretty safe. If people could read my mind, I’d get punched in the face a lot. Candy Is dandy, But liquor is quicker.
I swear to DRUNK, I am not GOD. Marriage is not a wordis a sentence. You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer. I don’t know half of you as well as I should like and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve. A lifelong friend is someone you haven’t borrowed money from yet.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. But it does keep you off Facebook. All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height. When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep — not screaming, like the passengers in his car. What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?
After 30, a body has a mind of its own. Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey! He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough. The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the Prices of new car. When you turn thirty, a whole new thing happens: you see yourself acting like your parents. Not even when my dad finished the fifth grade a year before I did.
I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you. If guilty pleasures are so guilty then why do they feel so darn innocent. I’m in no condition to drivewait!