Customer: Monday jokes, is this supposed to be coffee or tea? Waiter: What does it taste like?
Waiter: Well, sir, that would be the coffee. Q: How can you tell if a porno was made in the 70s? A: Even the guys’ penises have sideburns. Three elderly gentlemen were talking about what their grandchildren would be saying about them in fifty years’ time. The first said, “I would like my grandchildren to say ‘He was great fun to be with. Fifty years from now,” said the second, “I want mine to say ‘He was a loyal and loving family man. Turning to the third man, they asked him, “So what do you want them to say about you in fifty years?
I want them to say,” the third man replied, “He looks really good for his age! A redneck came home and found his house on fire, rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, “Hurry over here. OK,” replied the fireman, “how do we get there? Say, don’t you still have those big red trucks? The Mexican Maid asked for a pay rise.