The development of a retarded child

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Hey, why can’t I vote on comments? Cracked only offers comment voting to subscribing members. If you’re already an awesome Cracked subscriber, click here to login. Can you imagine how unhealthy we’d be if we didn’t have large organizations spending millions on public health campaigns? If we didn’t have them to herd us around with their slogans and posters, our lives would be a nightmare of illicit drugs and bad choices.

Shockingly, however, these well-meaning programs sometimes don’t work out so well. Good ol’ Officer Friendly shows up once a month or so and leads the class through obnoxious skits intended to give them an idea what peer pressure is like and how to avoid it. You avoid it by just saying “no! Apparently, that works for everything from drugs to unwanted sexual advances to strong-armed robbery. But it’s more than just saying no, the program aims to equip young people with “creative” ways by which to say it. For the record, we generally incorporate some sort of interpretive dance when we spurn unwanted offers of sex and drugs. But we don’t dance that often, if you know what we mean, ladies.

On the surface, encouraging kids to say no to drugs seems like a fine idea. It would be hard to actually know how well a program like D. So that’s exactly what some people did. Two separate studies, the results of which were prominently reported by TIME, indicated that at the very least D. Researchers suspect that the overstated, “peer pressure is around every corner, because EVERYONE IS DOING DRUGS BUT YOU!