This page is unavailable due to either geographic restrictions or other restrictions in place at this time. NOTE: other restrictions can be a result of our security platform detecting potential malicious activity. Please video drawing lessons for children 7 years again later as the restrictions may be lifted, or contact your service provider if the issue persists.
Copyright 2000 – 2017 Fox Television Stations, LLC. Authorities say a deadly crash involving multiple semi-trucks has closed Interstate 10 near Tonopah. Apollo 13 Anniversary: How true to real life was the movie? Think you got what it takes to write for Cracked. Then submit an article or some other pieces of content. Hey, why can’t I vote on comments?
Cracked only offers comment voting to subscribing members. If you’re already an awesome Cracked subscriber, click here to login. As only buzzkills like us would want to point out, some children’s books seem to intentionally traumatize kids with hard adult themes of vice and dysfunction. But those are the exception, not the rule. In this best-selling picture book, an impish boy tears apart every room in the house and runs his mother ragged.
But that’s OK, because when she sees him lying there sleeping peacefully, he’s impossible not to love. From newborn through the toddler years and beyond, Mommy always finds a chance to sneak into her boy’s room, cradle him in her arms and sing a lullaby. But if he keeps peeing on the carpet, we might have to have him put down. No, seriously, he will always be her little baby. Mommy won’t ask what that brown stuff is, even though she knows it hasn’t rained in days.
For example, here: We’re past the hugging stage now, right? So maybe he’s getting a little bit old for this stealth coddling stuff, right? She washes out that catcher’s mitt and lovingly places it on her face at night. That shirt has “fat Elvis” all over it. Well, he’s not off to a galloping start, is he? Maybe it’s time to lay off the covert cuddles.
At school, he finds himself licking girls’ faces. Jesus, what would you do if he woke up right at this moment? And what are you going to do when he eventually grows up and moves out of the house? Strap a ladder to the roof of your car, drive across town, break into his house and sneak into his bedroom there, too?